(This is quite a long post... I do apologise! I promise, every word is worth reading though.)
I am a Christian and I suffer from ill mental health. Shoot at me the comments and remarks like "Well if God was all-loving then He wouldn't let you suffer" blah blah blah. I've heard it all before.
I used to think that was the case... Until I opened my mind, ears and eyes. I have listened, read and sought for myself to try and unwrap the common stigma that holds over Christians who suffer from ill mental health. Some may say I have demons living inside of me, others may say I make scenarios up in my head for a pity vote. Neither of those are true. I am just a Christian lady with a broken brain. There is nothing wrong with that. Yes I believe in demons. But trust me, if there was a demon living inside of you, you would know.
I attended a 'Wholeness' conference today through a church in Manchester that focuses on inner, spiritual and mental healing and believe you me, it has completely changed my whole perception of what ill mental health really is.
Church doesn't really like to talk about ill mental health. When it comes to healing through the power of prayer and Jesus Christ, I feel as though those who have physical pain that needs healing will always be dealt with first. It is because it can be seen. But those of us that are in chronic pain from the inside do not really get the same amount of 'attention'. There is a stigma and for some reason, people are really quite scared to talk about it.
Except today, I had the pleasure of listening to another Christian lady called Katharine Welby Roberts (click her name to access where you can buy her book!) This lady explained how she has been suffering with ill mental health for 15 years and is a Christian. She opened my eyes to how we should deal with ill mental health as a church, as a part of a church family and with Jesus. Something which I never thought could really be possible. I thought that if you suffered from ill mental health, then this was because you were too apart from God, or you were not taking your faith and walk with Christ seriously. How wrong was I!! My brain is just broken- nothing at all to do with my faith. All that is faith related is the fact that I have a different brain to others, and that I have the power to use my faith to encourage inner healing. Something so beautiful and deserving.
For us Christians, Jesus lives within us. He is our God, our Saviour, our Father our everything. He has the power to guide us, teach us, HEAL us and comfort us. Something which every single individual in my opinion, needs. Healing is restoring, it is restoring the whole individual and free them from on outer and inner pain that they may be experiencing and feeling. I feel inner pain every single day, and trust me when I say that Jesus can really comfort me in my times of need because there have been many untold stories of mine where Jesus has quite literally, saved my life. Jesus doesn't need to prove all of the miraculous things that He has done, because He is still doing them today! Ignore the false claim that God creates suffering in order for Him to comfort us. The enemy unfortunately does exist and he unfortunately creates such suffering to turn us away from a loving God. It's what typical enemies do isn't it? Mislead people and turn them away from what is good?
People who have physical pains take medication every day to sustain what they're feeling and dealing with. People with mental pains also take medication every day to sustain what they're feeling and dealing with. They're both illnesses, so there should be no barriers. It is OK to take medication and have a broken brain. I do take medication, I do have a broken brain and I do believe in God. Cool right? I always say to people, "never underestimate the power of prayer". Bit hypocritical from a recently new Christian huh? BUT, really never underestimate. Again, I have many untold stories of mine where I have prayed and God has truly answered me. It isn't a magic trick or like a film, it's mysterious. Us and God are not on the same timing remember, so it could take a while for your prayers to be answered. However, God is always listening and He always wants to chat with us. Not only will it deepen your relationship with God, but it will also give Him the chance to perform some really cool stuff in your life. Just you watch.
I cannot stress enough that there is NO magic wand. It is not magic. Again, we are not on God's timing. It may take countless attempts of prayer, and when you finally have that breakthrough there is also a walkthrough afterwards. I have seen deserving people have everything taken away from them, and I have seen people who literally deserve nothing have everything given to them. God is confusing, but God is never wrong. There are reasonings for His every move and actions, and we have to trust Him because He knows our hearts and futures. Those of us with ill mental health just want that release from the inner pain we feel, because it affects our daily lives. Not just what we think, but it also affects what we do with our lives. I used to expect instant healing when I received it, but when I never got it I was disappointed. I thought that God wasn't listening to me because I had illness in my head that I had to live with. I felt guilty, and I thought that God didn't care about me as much as He cared about everyone else around me at church. But then I realised, that isn't the God I know and love. Once again, I put my trust in Him.
And He began to heal. He has healed me physically and I also believe that He is working with me to heal me mentally. This doesn't mean that God is in the process of wiping my ill mental health like wiping a hard drive, but instead I feel and know that He is helping me to cope with it. He is guiding me every day, helping me make choices, comforting me when I feel like a cannot breathe and instilling such courage in me to live my life through Him.
So if you are Christian and suffer from ill mental health, or even if you are not Christian it is OK and you have a purpose.
For the Christian sufferers, please don't be afraid to reach out to your church leaders and your church family. Don't be afraid to instil your trust in God, but also don't be afraid to seek professional help too. Don't be afraid to take medication if you need to. God will be with you every step of the way. Ask Him to walk with you and ask Him to present. Don't be afraid to break the stigma on ill mental health.
For the Non-Christian sufferers, you are also not alone. I have not been Christian all of my life. I have suffered from ill mental health a lot longer than I have lived my life through Jesus, so I know it from both ends of the spectrum. Seek help. Talk to people and tell them how you're feeling and what you're thinking, because they love you and they want the best for you. They want to help you heal and guide you through the process. I mean, if you want to try seeking God too that would be fab. No pressure or anything.
"How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and with Power. He went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with Him."
Acts 10:38
Disclaimer: Keep in mind, I used to be one of the biggest sceptics about all of this, but God works wonders in our hearts. I have faith.
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