Depression | Let's Get Through Together

I have been considering putting this post up for a while, because I know that to some it is a delicate subject which some people do not like to discuss often. But when I needed it most, I wish that I could have stumbled upon something like this to read and take my mind of the things which were bothering me. I have taken inspiration from DippyWrites, as she uploaded a depression post which you can find HERE. Like her, I would like to make regular posts on depression, as I feel as though it is important to acknowledge as it is an illness which people often hide and feel ashamed of.  

You know when you get that feeling where you feel as though you're alone in a particular situation? You really are not. I have been feeling like this for a few years now, but I have now realised that I am no longer alone and there are plenty of other people who are in the same boat as I am, and that we can all help each other.

For the past 5 years I have been battling depression. It hasn't been a nice journey and believe me, there has been some high roads and low roads, but for the past few months I have been feeling a lot better. I want to get the message through to all of you that are in the same boat as I am, that things do get better. It may not seem it at the time, are when you're all alone, but it truly does. I never thought that I had anything to live for or anything to look forward in my life because of the way I felt, but then I put it into one huge perspective and realised that I have a heck of a lot of things that I wanted to take part in and keep as memories. 

Image source HERE

There are many treatments out there which are available to all ages to help battle depression. Over the past 5 years I have received quite a few counselling sessions provided by many different counsellors and CBT. Even though I don't believe that these worked (because I didn't like the way that the sessions drained me, and I dreaded attending each sessions) I never thought that I would opt for anti-depressants. I did in the end, and I have been on them for a while. I haven't sought counselling again because I don't feel as though they are useful- but for others it may be the making of them. I guess you just have to find something which suits yourself, and helps you through the struggle you're in. 

I have experienced events which triggered my depression, but because they are so personal I do not wish to disclose this as of yet. Maybe in the future, as again, I do feel as though telling my stories may help others. 

I just wanted to say that if you're not feeling yourself, and haven't done for a while then do make an appointment with your doctor, and get the help you deserve as soon as possible. I am also always up for a chat if you would like to send me an email, and I would like you to know that you're not alone and there is always someone beside you no matter what. Even if you do not think that there is. I do check my emails all of the time so your email will not go unnoticed!

Jess

x

Life Update | Last Exam, University Doubting & Pep Talks

Hello lovelies,

This post is purely just me rambling on about what has been happening in my life so far, and my thoughts and views on a few things. Like the last post, there will be no photo's unfortunately, but I promise to bring you a post which is photo-filled soon!

So firstly and shockingly, I have my last A-Level exam on Thursday and then that's it. Poof. I've finished school for ever and ever and ever. It really scares me ya'no. I never thought I would actually see the end of my school days, and it feels as though I have taken off my comfortable slippers and put on a pare of really stiff, hard and uncomfortable shoes. I am going to miss going to school so much, and seeing all of the faces I used to see every day. I am also going to miss having that comfort of going to school, knowing the teachers and knowing my surroundings. I don't like change, I never have and to be honest I don't think that I ever will. Being a sufferer of anxiety, change and being uncomfortable triggers this and it panics me a lot, and I guess this is why I always find it hard to say 'yes' to a lot of things, and stick to the types of things that I already know and love. Because of this, I never like to stay away from home, go away for a long period of time unless I know my surroundings or try new activities. I even struggled trying caesar salad dressing yesterday! As I have know finished school and looking for things to do over the summer, I am hoping that this will encourage me to say 'yes' to a lot more things and be a bit more adventurous. 

I always used to be so set on going to university that nobody could ever change my mind. I was going to finish my A-Levels, have an amazing summer and then go off to university and study philosophy. Until recently. I have been full of doubt about going to university, that It has got to the point where I don't even want to think about my course or prepare for moving away. I am a family person and I never want to leave anyone behind. I know it may sound stupid, but I always said that everyone I have ever loved has left me, and I don't want to be that person that is getting up and leaving. I hate the thought of moving to a big city and being unaware of my surroundings- it should be exciting me but I am petrified already! Even though a good friend of mine is going to the same university and is extremely excited about moving away, I just can't bring myself to have the same thoughts and I panic whenever the topic is brought up. It is very silly I know, but I know I have to do this because like mum says to me, "it will be the making of you". If and when I get to university, I really hope what my mum says is true. 

I have also received a lot of pep-talks recently. These linking on to the topic of going to university, and the fact that I had a massive breakdown in front of my philosophy teacher before going into my philosophy exam last week. I was and still are certain that I have failed my philosophy, which will be such a shame and waste of 2 years of solid hard work. I love philosophy so much, and I just want to do well. Mum gave me a pep-talk last night about going to university after I told her that I was full of doubt about the whole concept. I do not want to disappoint her, but I couldn't not tell her that I was seriously reconsidering my future. Her pep-talk was amazing, and she made me feel 100% better even though I am still sort of doubting the whole thing. She explained that we all have to do things that we are not comfortable with, in order to have amazing experiences, meet new people and have the times of our lives. She really is good at those talks ya'no. When I had that breakdown in front of my philosophy teacher last week, she basically told me that I needed to calm down and pull myself together. I know she didn't mean it in a harsh way because I seriously think the world of her, but I am glad she told me that. If she hadn't have told me then I would have carried on crying and I really wouldn't have gone into the exam and done well. Her and my mum really are inspirations. 

So I know it is quite boring, and full of my basically crying about my future and exams but that is my life update for you. I promise, it will get a lot more exciting! Really!

What have you been up to in your lives recently?

My Favourite Blog Posts This Week | #1

Hello lovelies!

I thought that I would take a new spin on my blog and try out something new. Recently, I have been loving reading blogs that I follow and I have found that there are some posts which I have really enjoyed reading! Therefore, I would like to share with you all my favourite blogposts this week. 

1.

Anna Saccone: What I Ate Wednesday {10.6.14}

I came across the Saccone-Joly's on YouTube and immediately fell in love with Anna, Jonathon, Emilia, Eduardo and the 6 maltese doggies. They have recently moved over from Ireland to Surrey (I think?) and they do daily vlogging together, whilst both running individual channels and Anna also running her blog. She does all sorts of different weekly blogposts, and this week I enjoyed her 'What I Ate Wednesday'. On this blogpost, Anna blogged about what she ate throughout the whole of the day. She made this absolutely gorgeous-looking pasta dish for her dinner, and because she is half-italian this really isn't a surprise!

2.

Emtalks: Top University Tips; A Life Changing Decision

I particularly enjoyed this post on Em's blog because I am venturing to university in September so I need all of the tips I can get! She literally covers everything in this blogpost, and I am so glad that she regularly appears on my dashboard! Em is a constant blogger, and I often see new posts of hers popping up which I love to read. If you are going to university in September, then I recommend reading this post!

3.

Heather Nixon- Of Beauty And Nothingness: April + May Beauty Buys 

I am a sucker for seeing what people have been buying so that I can add it to my own stash, and Heather's posts often consist of what she has been buying and I love them! Her purchases are always so intriguing and I just want to buy them all for myself. I also find that she gives honest reviews of everything that she writes about, so I know whether I will like them or not. I have been wanting to buy the NARS Creamy Concealer for a while now, and as Heather has purchased it I just want to go out and get it for myself!

4.

Makeup-Pixi3: Top 3 Nail Polishes For Summer

I'm not going to lie, when I stumbled across Georgina's blog it was an accident, but what a blummin' good accident it turned out to be! Her posts are lovely jubbly! This post was of her 3 nail polishes for summer, and because you will always find me painting my nails or applying nail care, I find that posts like this suit me just well... Along with makeup related posts too! The colours Georgina picked are truly gorgeous, and definite colours I would wear myself. Her opinions are always honest too which I love about a good blog post.

So there we have it! What blogposts have you been loving this week?

You Shall Go To The Ball

On Friday 23rd May, me and the whole of my school year had our 6th Form ball. It was the best night of my life, and I can't believe that it is over already. Everyone looked amazing, and I wish that I could do it again. 

(This post is very picture heavy)

The photographer at the ball had a habit of doing close-ups! I did my makeup myself, and my friend from work who is also a hairdresser did my hair. I went for the 'vintage' look, and I am pleased how it turned out.

This is Tom, and he is one of the best friends anyone could ever ask for. I ordered my dress from ASOS at a price of £95.00 and I ordered my bag from Newlook at a price of £23.00.

This is one of my Health and Social Care teachers. She is lovely jubbly. 

Before we all met at Romney's (a pub/restaurant) for the coaches to pick us up, we gathered at my friends for passion fruit cocktails and to have our photo's taken by a professional photographer. 

The head boy's speech was absolutely hilarious. 

Sipping passion fruit cocktails.

Head boy and his 'selfies'. He was so so drunk, at the end of the night I had to assist him getting back onto the coach.

Me and Chloe have been friends for 14 years. I love her so much.

I had to get a photo with my gorgeous little brother. 

The lazy eye always makes an appearance!

The photographer insisted that I got a photo on my own.

My night was truly amazing, and I couldn't have asked to spend with any other people. 

This is my Health and Social Care class: 2012-2014.

This is my Philosophy and Ethics class: 2012-2014. The woman in the orange dress has taught me for the past 4 years, and is the sole reason for my love of Philosophy. 

My form group for the past 2 years. 

Myself and the rest of the Senior Student Group: 2013-2014.

The girls of my year group.

And last but definitely not least, my amazing year group. I am going to miss everyone so much.

So there are the photos guys! 

If you have had a ball/prom, I hope it has been amazing! Leave a comment down below with a link to your photos because I'd love to have a nosey!