WHAT SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION & ANXIETY IS REALLY LIKE // LIFESTYLE

Image can be found HERE

A couple of months ago, I wrote a post regarding my Mental Health Story which you can find HERE. Many people have different interpretations of what it is like living with depression and anxiety, so I thought that being a sufferer I would post what it is really like, to stop misinterpretations and judgements.

From experience, I know people expect and see sufferers to just be miserable and 'sad' all of the time. It may look that way and that is the view that is portrayed through the illness, but there is a lot more to what is just being seen from the outside. The reason I placed a cloud as the photo for this post, is because that is what it is like. Firstly, it feels like a cloud is constantly hanging over you and you don't know whether the cloud is going to go and the day is going to be clear, or if it is going to rain for days on end. 

I have been living with depression and anxiety for 6 years now, and everyday I still find it a constant battle. I know that people think that if you have depression then you can never be happy. That is not the case at all. Some days I will be incredibly happy, but like I said before I have a constant cloud over my head which can make my mood change in an instant. Anything can trigger off the side effects of depression. Some days I feel as though I physically can't bring myself to get out of bed and go to uni. The thought of getting the bus to uni alone terrifies me, and I find that I begin to feel so so sick, but that it just the anxiety kicking in. 

I am on medication for my depression and anxiety, and have been for 2 years now. I chose to go down this route because I feel as though this is the only method that helps for me. After trying all sorts of methods, I found that this is a last resort as nobody wishes to be dependent on medication for a long period of their life. However, after living with my illness for 6 years already, I didn't see what the problem is with relying on something that will eventually make me feel better.

One piece of advice that I will give to sufferers is that you always have to be honest and true to yourself. If you can't do that then you will not be able to access and take the help which is available to you. Because honestly, in the end everything will be OK. 

TO MY YOUNGER SELF // ADVICE

If you read my post regarding my mental health story (which you can find HERE), then you may or may not feel as though I have a lot of advice to tell my younger self.

In my opinion, I have a lot that I would tell my 13/14 year old self. Not a lot of it would be in a kind or sympathising manner, but then again I have to think that I can't be so hard on myself because of what happened in my past. Things are in the past for a reason and we learn from the mistakes that we make, it is the only way we can achieve and become better people in life. But anyhow, here is some of the advice I would tell my younger self.

Everything happens for a reason

My younger self wouldn't have taken this advice on board. As I was so full of self-hate, I was a very stubborn young teenager. Obviously, my 19 year old self takes this on board and due to what has happened in my past I do think this advice is very true. Without what had happened, I wouldn't be where I am today. I wouldn't be this strong, I wouldn't know how to deal with difficult situations and I wouldn't know how to take myself out of a negative spiral and place myself into a positive one.

Your parents/carers only have your best interest at heart

Me and my mum didn't see eye to eye when I was 13/14. This is down to the fact that I had an older boyfriend who she loathed, and because I didn't speak to her about how I was feeling and wouldn't let anyone in other than my dad. I constantly felt that I was being lectured, being told what to do and I didn't like it one bit. I felt too grown up for what I actually was. I have now come to realise that they did only have my best interests at heart. What they say, they mean because they love you. Even if it comes through to yourself in a horrible manner, they just probably don't know how to say it properly and just want you to understand.

Cherish your young teenage years

I don't feel as though I had the opportunity or option to cherish my younger teenage years. I didn't have the guts or courage to pull myself together, or rather pull myself into a positive spiral. I felt deprived of these years and I don't feel as though they really did exist at all. This could have been due to all of the circumstances that occurred, but then again I should have been stronger and enjoyed myself when I could. If I could go back in time and change that one thing, I definitely would.

Don't make any rash decisions

This is easier said than done. When you're looking at your younger self from an older self perspective, your mind has obviously matured and you have learnt more things throughout the years, even if it is only 5/6 years. But over the years, I learnt that the decisions I decided to make when I was 13/14, I definitely wouldn't have made them now if I was back that age again. I would have waited and thought things through, rather than think it was a good idea to make them there and then when the idea popped up into my head.

So it is a bit of a short post, but I don't really have any other advice to give to my younger self, and even if I did then it wouldn't be too nice. Writing this post has definitely made me think, and i highly recommend writing one of these for yourself if you can.

Jessie x