11 THINGS YOU DID NOT KNOW ABOUT ME // TAG

I was tagged by the lovely Zenia from the blog 'Peplums & Petunias' to carry out the '11 Things You Did Not Know About Me' tag, so here is my version!

The rules for this tag are as follows. You have to answer 11 questions by the blogger who has tagged you, and then once you have answered those you tag 10 fellow bloggers and supply them with your own set of questions. Simple! So here is my take on the tag.

 What is your favourite cake flavour?

I am a lover of lemon cake. A strange flavour I know. I find chocolate cake too sickly for my liking, and standard cake just doesn't float my boat! However, if I had to eat one of those flavours then I would, it's just I am linked to the lemon!

Where are you originally from?

Because I study in Manchester, I constantly have people asking me where I am from. I am from the United Kingdom in a place called the Lake District. It is full of mountains and hills, and there are a lot of holiday-goers who vacate here because of the scenery. 

Best thing that's ever happened to you?

I know this might sound pretty cringy, but the best thing that has ever happened to me is accepting help for my depression and anxiety, and getting help for it. It has opened up so many opportunities for me including university, and having the courage to move away from my small town and fulfil my dreams. 

How many siblings do you have? Are you the oldest, youngest or in the middle?

I am the oldest of me and my siblings. I have a younger brother and sister who are twins, and they are 13 years old. I also have another brother who has just turned 1 on my dad's side of the family.

Brownies or cake? Why?

I prefer a good ol' brownie. This is because you can make so many different types of brownies and add different things into them, to make them so much better!

What is the one thing you tell yourself everyday?

Because I suffer from anxiety and depression, every morning before I get up I tell myself "you can do this". This makes me realise that the world is my oyster and every day is a new day. It also gives me motivation to grab life with both hands and make the most of it.

Weirdest/creepiest/funniest dream ever?

This was definitely a weird dream. I had a reoccurring dream for about a fortnight of me running through a maze, and I couldn't escape. I never understood why I couldn't escape the maze, and when I woke up I was all panicky. I still to this day haven't looked into what the dream meant. 

Would you rather marry someone who loves you and has no money, or someone who has money but doesn't love you?

I, hands down, would genuinely marry someone who loved me and didn't have any money. I'd rather mean something to someone, and to me that is a lot more valuable than money will ever be. 

If you could be the CEO of any brand, what would it be?

This is easy peasy. I would want to be the CEO of Selfridges. I adore that store, and it has so many makeup counters and boutiques inside of it!

If you could only eat one food of the rest of you life, what would it be?

I would say pizza to this, but I think there is only so much pizza you can have in a lifetime. Therefore, I am going to have to say chinese food! There is such variety of this, and you can always switch it up and change the meals around. 

If you were stranded on an island and only had one person next to you, who would it be? Why?

This doesn't need any thinking towards it, as I would always choose my mum. As long as my mum was besides me I would know everything was going to be OK!

For this tag I nominate:

Minnie | Through Minnie's Eyes

Camelia | MakeUp N Trend

Luiza | Cupcake Splendens

Veena | Make Up World

Zara | The Lipstixx Diaries
Manny | Lautures
Priya | Priya Svnsn
Cat | Geekly Chic
Tammy | A Girl With A Beauty Blog
Karita | Karitaz

The questions I am giving my nominees are:
Where is one place in the world you would love to visit?
Hot drinks or cold drinks? Why?
Summer or winter? Why?
What is your current beauty essential?
Where do you see yourself in 5 years time?
If you got given the opportunity to run a store, what would it be and why?
What is your favourite seasonal event? Why?
What is your number one main hobby?
Dark or light lip products? Why?
Have you ever considered university?
What is your favourite piece of advice you would give to others?

MY MENTAL HEALTH STORY // LOOK AT ME NOW

I am going to throw it out there. This post is going to be hard for me to write, and it is quite personal to me. However, I want to help those who have experienced what I went through/what I am going through, and that can only be done through me pulling myself together and sharing it all with you. 

I had an extremely happy childhood. For 3 years, it was just me and my mum. My mum was my mum and dad rolled into one, and I admire her so much for doing that. Because of this, I became extremely close to my nana and granddad too, and we would spend so much time together. We went on holidays together, Sunday walks and me and my mum even lived with them for a while. I didn't have a clue who my biological father was, and it didn't bother me. My mum never lied to me about him, and never hid any facts from me either. She was always straight up about the situation.

When I was 3, my mum met the man whom I call dad, and who is the dad of my younger brother and sister. Straight away I wanted to call him dad, and he accepted me as his own child and still does to this day. He tries his hardest to do anything for me, and I love him so much. When I was 6, my younger brother and sister were born. Little did we know, my brother was born with ADHD and Autism, and my sister was born with Asthma. They were 6 weeks premature, and in and out of hospital. During this time, I lived with my nana and granddad, purely because my mum had to be at the hospital with my brother and sister, and my dad had to support her and also go to work. 

Now comes the difficult part. 

We moved house to another street up the road, as we needed the room as my brother and sister were well enough to come home. I befriended my next door neighbour- I knew her from school and I spent a lot of my time with her. She had a sister and 2 brothers, both older than us. Her brother ended up doing things to me which I didn't understand. I didn't understand why he would do them but I dismissed it. It wasn't until I got older that I understood the whole situation I was in, and I kept it a secret from everybody. That is when my downwards spiral hit.

My mum and dad ended up separating, and this had a huge impact on my life. I couldn't come to terms with why they had to part, and I thought it was because of me. I took it out on myself whilst hiding this secret of mine. I thought that they knew and broke apart because of me. Some would say I ended up 'going off the rails' at the age of 13, and this is when another rough part of my life occurred.   I call this part 'black'.

When I was 13, I got my first serious boyfriend. I was in a disgustingly dark place, and my boyfriend at the time was 18. I hid this from everybody including my friends and my family, however this is something which I shouldn't have done. From the very start, the relationship was very difficult. Through the 9 months we were together, it was a very temperamental relationship and also very abusive. However, I was besotted with him and thought that was what 'love' was. I was entwined with him, and spent every single day with him. I had no friends, no confidence, full of self-loathe, no aspiration to do anything in life and I didn't see myself doing anything. (Maybe I can elongate this into another blog post, what do you think?)

I was 14 when that relationship ended. But, during that relationship I had many councillors, therapists, doctors appointments and I lost a serious amount of weight. Nobody knew what was wrong with me, until I eventually told my dad what had happened and how I felt. They didn't agree with the relationship one bit, but what parent would? I am full of guilt and suffer this everyday for what I put my family through, and truly embarrassed of the way I acted. 

6 years ago, I would never picture myself to be where I am now. I never thought that I would be at university working towards a Philosophy Degree. I never thought I would feel happiness again, and I never thought that I would have friends who care about me. This is what the whole concept of this blog post is about.

I finally admitted to myself that I needed help. I decided that councillors and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy was not doing anything for me, so I accepted anti-depressants. These were to help me with my depression and anxiety. At the beginning, yes they did help me. I wouldn't have been able to go to university without the help of them, and the little piece of confidence that they gave me. But it wasn't until the other week that I took myself off the 150mg of Sertraline that I was on. This is extremely dangerous, and I do not recommend doing the same as it made me very ill, and I was quickly heading into another downward spiral. My mum booked my another doctors appointment- hopefully my last one for my mental health, to get everything sorted once and for all. Here they changed my tablets to 20mg of something beginning with a 'C' (I cannot remember the name for the life of me!), and offered me help back down in Manchester which is where I spend the majority of my time because of university. I accepted it.

If you suffer from a mental illness, I want you to know that you are not alone. Yes this story of mine is quite deep for a blog posts, but it is my mental health story, and without it I wouldn't be the person I am today. I passed my GCSE's, my A-Levels and I am currently working towards a Philosophy Degree. I never saw myself doing any of these things. It is okay to find yourself slipping into a downwards spiral, but remember where you were then and where you are now. I came across an amazing saying the other day. It goes...

"Even with all the unfortunate things that have been going on lately, I'm still happy. Instead of focusing on the negative I just remember how lucky I am to be where I am today."

And this saying gives me great inspiration. Remember, everything is going to be okay. Accept the help you deserve, and try and place yourself in a positive spiral. Have something to look forward to, make plans, read positive books and listen to positive music. It all really helps, trust me.

I apologise for the long post, but I wanted to get everything together and tell you about my mental health story. If you have any advice for me at all, or just fancy having a chat about your situation with somebody, then feel free to email me on: jessica.mckenzie@live.co.uk

I will reply as I can, and you can email me about anything. 

Thank you for reading,

Jessie x

SIMPLE SUPPERS // BACON, SPRING ONION AND CHEESE PASTA

I have decided that I am going to introduce a new segment into my blog, and that is 'Simple Suppers'.

Since being at university, I have definitely learnt how to cook with a small amount ingredients, and also learnt how to make something tasty out of them.

Pasta is a really good main ingredient when it comes to cooking with a small number of items. I find that anything can be thrown into a bowl of pasta, which is why I decided to share with you this recipe that I put together whilst being at university!

First you have to put some pasta on to boil. Any pasta can be used, but I love spaghetti so I always choose this.

Whilst your pasta is boiling, get together 4 spring onions, some pre-chopped bacon and some cream cheese.

I began with frying the chopped bacon until it was very nearly cooked. I prefer to have my bacon crispy, as it adds a bit of 'crunch' to the dish. Also, cooking it a bit longer gives it more of a smokey taste and makes it taste better.

I then chopped spring onions into the frying pan using scissors, and fried them until they went a bit softer. At this stage, I took some of the pasta water using an ice cream scoop, and placed it into the pan with the bacon and spring onions. Doing this means that when you add your cheese to the pan, it makes the sauce a little thicker and easier to eat with. It will also prevent the pasta sticking together in clumps.

I took the pasta off boil, drained it and then put it back into the pan I cooked it in. I added the bacon and spring onions and 2 table spoons of the cream cheese. After mixing it all together, I added pepper and bowled up!

This dish literally took 10 minutes to make. It is simple, doesn't create too much washing up to do after your meal, and it tastes like a carbonara!

Double cream may also be added when cooking the bacon and spring onions, to make a more creamier sauce.

What pasta dishes do you like to make?

QUICK & EASY CADBURY'S 'CRUNCHIE' BROWNIES

I love a good brownie. I like the way the outside of it is crunchy and then in the middle it is all soft and gooey.

So, I decided to root through the cupboards and see if there was anything I could use for baking. Luckily, I came across brownie ingredients along with Crunchie bars. I have never made Crunchie brownies before, so I thought that I would experiment! I am so so glad that I did. This recipe is so easy to follow, takes little time and makes delicious brownies!

Firstly, I preheated the oven to 180 C / gas mark 4. Following this, I crushed up the Crunchie bars and broke up the chocolate into small squares. I placed these into a bowl and put them to the side.

I then added everything to one bowl in the order shown above (excluding the Crunchie chocolate and the milk chocolate). I made sure to give this a thorough stir, so that the consistency was velvety. 

After I achieved the velvet consistency, this is when I added 5 of the 6 bars of Crunchie and the milk chocolate chunks. I made sure to mix fold these well into the mixture, so that the chocolate was hidden.

Make sure you have a tray deep enough for the brownie mixture to sit in, and that it has been greased of is lined with greaseproof paper. Pour in the mixture and place in the oven for 20-25 minutes.

When it got to around the 20 minute mark, I took the brownies out of the oven and topped them with the rest of the crushed Crunchie. I placed it into the over again for another 5 minutes, until taking it out for good.

Allow the brownie time to cool down and set. It may seem very gooey in the middle, but once it has cooled down it does set into a more dense texture, and it is also easier to slice!

Have you got any recipes you have discovered recently?

TOP 5 TIPS FOR MOVING HOUSE // STUDENT STYLE

So recently, I moved into my uni house for my second year. I'm not going to lie, I am not brilliant when it comes down to packing. Trying to put things into order and deciding what goes were is not by strong point! So the point of this blog post is for me to show you what I have learnt, and what tips 'n' tricks I have learnt within the process!

1. GET RID OF ALL OF THE RUBBISH YOU FIND: don’t lie, you're bedroom is full of pointless objects and items that you have acquired over your time at university. My room definitely was when I came to the packing stage. If I a honest, I think I could pass for being a hoarder! Getting rid of the things that take up unnecessary space in your room will not just one, make unpacking easier but two, also make the whole moving process and lighter for you in the long run!
2. DECIDE WHAT COLOUR SCHEME YOU ARE GOING TO GO FOR: there is no point moving if you do not know what colour scheme your new bedroom is going to be. I was okay with this, as I decided to keep the same colour scheme as the room in my halls. The colour scheme I went for was a mixture of pastel colours with a vintage twist. This colour scheme is so so easy to keep up with, as practically everything goes with each other, and it's simple to add little things  in too. 
3. BEGIN PACKING EARLIER THAN THE NIGHT BEFORE MOVING: I feel very hypocritical writing this tip, but it is something I learnt during the packing process! Me being as stupid as I can be sometimes, decided that packing the day before the moving day, was going to give me enough time to get everything together. I was wrong. It took me hours and hours and hours to get everything together, and I spent half of the time gathering boxes to actually put my belongings in, which links into the second tip…
4. MAKE SURE YOU HAVE ENOUGH BOXES TO PACK WITH: again, I feel super hypocritical. Instead of having everything packed into big cardboard boxes, (which would have been waaay easier to move with) I packed everything into little boxes. I felt the need to use the big Pandora box that I had stashed underneath my bed, and filling every single Selfridges bag that I had hidden underneath my desk!
5. PACK IN SOME SORT OF ORDER: this will make things a lot easer when unpacking. You will be able to go through an order of one box at a time, instead of rifling through different boxes making the process a lot harder than it should be!

So there are the top 5 tips of mine for when moving. These will literally be a lifesaver… especially for a ditsy person like me!

Do you have any other tips for packing?

MAC // 'DIVA' LIPSTICK

I have always had the opinion that a bold, red lip did not suit me, so for a long time I have put it off and always chosen to wear the darker purples if I was going to an occasion or somewhere more special. 

Spending the majority of my time around the MAC counter in Selfridges, I came to the conclusion that it was about time to ditch the dark purples for a while, and invest in a dark red lip colour. I was quite fussy however when I had to choose. This is because I didn't want to settle for a bright red lipstick, but instead a darker 'vintage vamp' type of colour. This is because I wear a lot of dark gold colours on my eyelids and I thought it may look better.

I picked up 'Diva', when I accidentally found myself standing at the MAC counter one afternoon. My flat mate wanted to start her own palette, so I saw this as the perfect opportunity to question the beauty guru's and see what colour would suit me best.

'Diva' is a very dark red colour, and comes off the bullet as a matte finish. I prefer matte finish lipsticks as they seem to last longer on the lip, and even when they begin to fade they always leave a stain which I also believe to look quite flattering.

Trust me when I say you do not need a lot of this product at once. I made the mistake of applying a little too much the first time that I wore it, and it just got everywhere. I advise to use a lip brush at first for precision purposes, and then go in with the bullet itself to deepen the colour if you wish. The colour ended up staying on all night, no matter how many drinks I had or what I had to eat. I wore this colour with a gold eye look, and even though some may say that it's either 'lips or eye' I thought the look went really well! Definitely one of my statement lipsticks in my collection I would say.

The online link to 'Diva' can be found HERE, and the lipstick retails for a price of £15.50 which is definitely worth it!

What bold lip colours are you loving at the moment?

MAC // 'DERVISH' LIPLINER

Since Kylie Jenner made an appearance with her fabulous lips, everyone wants one of those 'nude' lipliners to copy her looks.

I made my way to Selfridges in search of a lipliner that I could wear everyday, underneath different lipsticks just to enhance my natural lip line. I myself have been blessed with quite full lips (thanks momma!) so I never had the intention of making them look overly big, I just wanted a more prominent lip line underneath my lipstick.

When I got to the MAC counter, there wasn't a nude lipliner that caught my eye. Dervish was the closest to a natural nude that I could find, with a slight pink undertone to it. I wear it underneath any lip colour because of the basic colour that it is. 

Dervish is extremely loved as you can tell! I honestly wear this near enough every single day- unless I'm having a makeup free day that is. The lipliner itself is a soft nude with undertones of pink and a tiny bit of brown. It has quite a velvet finish, with a little shimmer being added to it. Originally I wanted a matte lipliner, as I thought that it may stay on better. However, this lipliner doesn't seem to want to budge underneath the lip colour that you may be wearing. 

It also doesn't change the colour of your lipstick either which is a benefit, as I thought that because I wear it with so many different lip colours that it would have an impact on them but it doesn't.

The lipliner retails at a price of £12.50 and you can obviously buy it online or from a counter. The online link is HERE.

What lipliner/lipliners are you liking at the moment?